Well we finally made it out! A real bonafide night out on the town. We watched the sun rise and everything! Our british coworker offered to drive us (in her car (with air conditioning)) to the nearby city of Santa Pola to go to the beach bars and see the nightlife! We were all excited to be able to go out and leave when we wanted and have a bed to sleep in and know people (or person, rather) and stuff. So we all piled into the car and went out to the beach bars. At this one place we went if you ordered a mojito you were rewarded with a hat. I ordered said mojito and promptly lost the hat. Whoops. We then decided to go to something called “Camelot” which should really have been called “Sweaty Mc90’s Music” but I was cool with it. Renee and I had a couple shining moments when we were the only ones who knew all the words to “Backstreet’s Back” & “Wannabe” other than that we didn’t recognize much of the music and knew no one. The Spanish are more of marathoners when it comes to going out…I consider myself more of a sprinter so by 6 I was ready to hit the hay.

This week in my class we have been playing a game called “Name That Tune” where I put on a song and students have to write down the artist name on a piece of paper, ball it up and throw it to a bullseye on the floor. Unfortunately they failed to recognize the musical stylings of Hall & Oats, KC & The Sunshine Band and Lil’ Wayne (I’m going for breadth here people) we finally found common ground in Beyonce, Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga and Shakira. I have compiled a list of the best submissions, with regards to spelling. These are all verbatim.

Taylor Swift:
Lady Gaga:
Laidi Gaga
Michael Jackson:
Mikel Zombies/Jackson
Miquel Blosson
Miley Cyrus:
Mili Sairus
Mayly Saurus
Selena Gomez
Alvin & the Chipmunks…

I’m dead serious about that last one though I’m still struggling to find the connection. My personal favorite is Maillisaurus. I like to think of it as her Salvia smoking-Dinosaur alter ego. “Run! Run! It’s Mailisaurus!!”

Not Beyoncé

My group has grown by 4 children in the past week. Here are some things I have learned. Kids cry about weird things. Example: One day in the locker room I had a 9 year old girl burst into spontaneous tears. When I went over to investigate all I could understand was “I can’t stop turning in circles!” It turns out she had put her t-shirt on inside out 3 times in a row and for some reason this was cause to cry uncontrollably for about 5 minutes. I offered to braid her hair and then everything was cool. Certain children would never survive in the wild (which is where I assume all children now come from). Example: Spanish kids often have to repeat subjects in summer by completing a workbook. They all hate doing their homework and making them do it is equally as rough as getting them to eat their daily weekly helping of snails. But I digress. Avoidance strategies vary from feigned deafness, screaming denial all the way to what we will call here the ‘dead fish maneuver.’ He simply goes completely limp and looks at you with the biggest puppy-dog eyes I have ever seen. He has also been known to fall asleep during outdoor game time and on the golf course.

The household has recently acquired the entire works of Audrey Hepburn. If we have any free time I finagle my way into popping in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” or “Roman Holiday.” Watching Igor watch my fair lady was highly entertaining. I forgot how extremely long and musical that movie is. We will continue watching them until we’ve seen them all…or Igor implodes from overdose of cute. Whichever comes first.

In other news: Last friday I accidentally told the lifeguard I loved him. What I meant to say: “Hey, Alex needs you.” What I said “Hey, Alex, I love you.” Mistakes happen. Plus I’m pretty sure he didn’t hear me. By now I’m used to it.

Something strange is happening to my skin. I’m considering consulting a doctor. Instead of its usual mid-july shade of 3 week old milk it has taken on a darker tint. I think it’s full body rash from too much exposure to small children but Renee keeps writing it off as something called a “tan.” Yeah right. It’s probably malaria.

One of my favorite pastimes has become getting the Spanish to talk about their beaches in English. Mostly because when they say “beaches” it sounds more like “b*tches.” Some of my favorite phrases to hear include “Spain has the most beautiful beaches in the world” “This is the most beautiful beach in all of Spain” “This is a dirty beach.” This also applies to the word “sheets” as in “Those are dirty sheets, here are new ones”…If you’ll excuse me I have to go wash my sheets…


One thought on “Mailisaurus

  1. Crying for no reason involves at least two variables: Children and Girls. I would put a weight of 70% on Girl, 25% on Children, 5% on Moon Phase.

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